Heart Strings

July 08, 2026 | Wednesday Morning| 11:18 AM

    The Most Dramatic Fork in The Road in
                               My Life

There have been many dramatic forks in the road in my life so far. Let me think about this for a while. It's difficult to pin down a particular moment in time. 

One of the biggest mistakes that I made was not listening to my intuition when my last ex. Boyfriend re-entered my life. I dated him as a teenager, too. I remember one conversation that we had & he was laughing. We were both laughing & he mentioned under his breath, "You deserve someone so much better than me." He also said, "I'm not good for you." But, I didn't pay attention. He was someone who was a really good friend when we were teenagers. I didn't stop to think, some people change for the better. And, some people change for the worse. But, I was reunited with him & I wanted to see where he was in life. I don't remember how we met back up again. However, I learned to place no doubt when your intuition speaks to you. When you have a strange feeling about something or someone, it's your intuition reaching out whispering to you. It's your intention redirecting you away from said person, said location, or said situation. 

Like many relationships, our relationship was good in the beginning. He was respectful, kind & supportive. He made time for me. Then, around 6 months in he changed. He became extremely cruel & mean. He was becoming physically abusive. And, he took pride in being mean. The more he could hurt me, the more happy he became. Then, he would apologize & cry in my arms telling me he was so sorry. He would tell me that he loved me & wouldn't hurt me like that again.Yes, I believed him. He had my heart in his hands & he knew it. 

Other than being the biggest fork in the road, reuniting with him was the biggest mistake of my life. He was beyond cruel & manipulative. He took extreme pride in his actions. The more emotional, physical & psychological pain he could cause me, the better. Sometimes, he'd sit on the bed & laugh at me because he scared me or hurt me. Or, he'd sit right next to me with the most disgusting mean mug look on his face & he'd speak ugly words to me underneath his breath. 

We don't control our hearts. So, we stay in a relationship until our heart strings finally break. Or, until someone physically leaves & puts distance between the two. He knew that my heart strings were still connected to his. He took advantage of my kindness, loyalty & love. But, after 4 plus years we finally parted ways.

When we were together, I lived at Mom's house. Then, towards the very end of our relationship I moved into my own apartment on The Rez. He went on his way & I found my independence once again. 












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