Fake War Hoop Cries

When I look into the past, the thing I miss the most is

Me. I miss the girl who I was who could walk around everywhere and not even worry about what other people thought about me. I loved who I was & accepted myself exactly as I was. I was entirely myself. I didn't see myself as how others saw me: A dork, nerd, ugly, weird & unpopular. And, my confidence was 100% solid. Unshakable. Cemented in self love. 

At home, I was surrounded by unconditional love. I was spoiled by my mom. My dad was extremely loving, caring, protective & fun. I'd fight with my siblings here & there, but our love for one another was absolute. So, it was only in school that other students saw me differently. What annoyed me the most was when the kids at school would gang up around me & pretend to dance around a fake fire like the Bugs Bunny cartoons & put their hand to mouth & make fake war-hoop cries & pretend to shoot fake bows & arrows at me.

I miss my childhood with my siblings. I miss my mom sitting on her favorite chair smoking 🚬 a cigarette & sipping either her black coffee or Diet Coke. She always had a bag of Lay's potato chips next to her, too. Every single day wrestling was on TV 📺. And, she'd respond to Ric Flayer's "Woo!" On the TV screen and then laugh. She was so cute. 😊🥰🤩 

I miss my brother Doug & my Dad Mackie. One afternoon, my brother Doug was recovering from an injury. He was training to become a wrestler & he was so close to becoming a local celebrity wrestler, too. I was laying down on the bed next to him. He was underneath the blankets & I was on top of them. We were watching cartoons together. It was either Inspector Gadget or Tom & Jerry! He was fast asleep & I was enjoying the TV to myself. I was maybe 7 years old. I don't remember. But, it's one of the few real memories that I have of my brother Doug. 🥰 

XoXo ⚘️ 


Love, 


Me




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